I Feel Fat…and Sassy.

Supportive readers, guess what?! Okay, I will tell you because I cannot wait for you to guess. I got a new job! A new freaking job! Can you imagine?! Also, my new job is perfect, and I want want wanted it so much that I became distressed every time I said “Maybe I won’t get it” and then I would eat a cookie to comfort myself in the face of my imaginary loss.

I had to go to about a bajillion* interviews, and how can one go to a bajillion* interviews without Incredibly Grown Up Outfits? One cannot, that is how.  So I went shopping with Lisa at one of those stores where everything is cheap cheap cheap and it makes me feel like although I may in fact already own that shirt over there I might as well buy that shirt over there just in case I do not already own it because it is oh so very cheap.  But, alarmed readers, disaster struck.

This store I was at? The one where everything is all cheap cheap cheap? Well, I am usually a certain Acceptable Size there and that size that I am does not make me feel upset, but this time it is possible that my comforting cookies and my reward cookies and my “my life is super awesome right now” cookies may have pushed me into a size that says “Sarah Elizabeth” (which is what I call myself when I am angry), “It is possible that you may have consumed too many cookies”.

(Kitty also occasionally has trouble finding pants)

I commenced whining to Lisa about how small pants seem to have gotten. But Lisa, because she is awesome, was like “Whatever, you’re too happy to be skinny right now, let’s go eat those doughnutty things at Coastal Flats.”

So, Readers Who are Just the Right Size, I have been thinking about it and my cookie butt (which is what I am calling my butt now. It’s cuter that way) is really not that bad for the following reasons:

1. It prevented me from spending a bunch of money on clothes, therefore making funds more available to purchase doughnutty things.
2. It is evidence of my “Too happy and busy and important to worry about whether or not I am going to put this cookie in my face” lifestyle, which sounds pretty fun, right? Riiiight?!
3. It is not permanent. Cookie butt will hopefully be greatly reduced when I start to walk instead of drive everywhere. Because my new job is a 30 minute walk from my house hooray!
4. It is probably a comfort to Lou to know that he is not the only one in the apartment who could use a bit of a diet/treadmill combo.
5. It forced me to find my Most Grown-Up Dress Ever, which I like very much and had kind of forgotten about but was probably the reason I was offered the job.  I imagine they saw me in it and were all “That woman is clearly a Capable Business Lady and we should Hire Her Immediately.”

So in conclusion, it is probably best that I am a teeny bit bigger than I would really like to be at the moment, because it is basically the reason that I got my dream job AND is keeping the cat from becoming incredibly depressed.

I am quite pleased with this blog post.  I think this blog post deserves a teeny tiny** celebration cookie, right? Right.

Love,

Sarah

*two
**medium big

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